托福独立写作范文解析 如何写好文章

我们以托福独立写作的三选一文章为例，很多同学不知道该类托福写作结构应该如何处理。其实三选一并不复杂，熟记两个注意点就可以轻松应对：一是三者都要提及;二是并没有唯一的正确结构，结构应该根据题目灵活的选择。我们来看一道例题和范文。

Essay Topic

Which one is the most important for teacher of high school?

1. The ability to help students plan for their future;

2. The ability to find the students who need help most and help them;

3. Teach students how to learn outside the classroom.

就这道题来讲，题型基本结构的选择有两种：三项能力都重要，但是第一项最重要;或者，第一项是重要的，而第二项和第三项是不重要的。其他的文章结构都是这两种的变体。我们拿第二种结构举例：

总论点：规划未来能力最重要(vs.发现需要帮助的同学&教会自学)

主体段1：学生最需要规划，而只有老师有能力提供

主体段2：发现需要帮助的能力不重要，因为学生自己会来找

主体段3：课外自学不重要，高中生没有课外时间

The ability to help student with planning their future is definitely the most important capability for high school teachers.

To begin with, high school students are in desperate need for guidance about their future, and teachers are the only competent candidate to provide it. I know this from my personal experience. When I was in high school, a great portion of my classmates’ only goal is to reach for the minimum requirement for graduation, and to be able to get an offer from a middle-ranged college in the US, as all 15-year-old boys are profoundly addicted to either computer games or love affairs. Because of our immature mind, we had no idea regarding the choice of universities, or the selection of a future career path. What made matters worse is that our high school teachers provided us with virtually zero guidance concerning our college applications, not because they lack of the intention, but simply because they know nothing about it. Consequently, the vast majority of our parents had to hire an outside agency that specializes in the college application process which costs tons of money. Later we realized that this is an utter mistake, for what they did was simply giving us the timeline of the application process, translating our personal statements and recommendation letters from Chinese into English, and finally mailing out all our materials to the US. All of these simple tasks could be performed by ourselves, and these misfortunes surely could have been avoided if we had the luck to meet more competent teachers, with the ability to warn students and their parents about the black-hearted agencies and lay out lucid plans for students’ future.

The capability to find the students who need assistance most and help them, on the other hand, is not that imperative. The reason for this is quite simple, since high school students would come to teachers voluntarily if they are in serious trouble. In other words, many times students don’t want to be bothered by a teacher who treats them like a baby-sitter. As for the “help” part, I firmly hold the faith that all teachers are already equipped with the willingness to solve student’s problem gladly, using their prehistoric powers, no matter how difficult the situation can be. So the willingness to help students should be the minimum standard to be qualified as a teacher.

Similarly, the skill to teach students how to learn outside the classroom is completely unnecessary. For one, most high school students have no time outside their classrooms at all, as all their spare time is already occupied by cram school or by extracurricular activities. Even in the rare circumstance that some students may have free time, parents could always play the part of their instructor on how to self-study.

本篇文章在结构的处理上，做到了清晰、简单。第一个主体段在证明第一项能力是非常必要的。第二、三主体段在分别证明第二、三项能力是不重要的。整个段落结构很明确。这样会更容易获得高分。大家要注意避免结构过于复杂和混乱。

如何丰富整篇文章的结构?

大家经常会有疑惑的问题就是：我的三个主体段全部都是讲故事，好像手法太单一了，会不会被扣分?如何丰富?

答案是：有可能;以及，偶尔的使用纯解释型段落。

众所周知，TOEFL写作中展开手法有两种，exemplification和explanation。例证显然是二者中更简单的一个。因此，大部分同学都更倾向于使用例证。因为它更容易快速上手，并且大家可以通过举例来展开具体化的细节，从而获得高分。但注意，如果三个主体段全部是讲故事展开，未免会有语言太差的嫌疑。因此，除了例证，我们文章中最好可以稍微涉及到一些说理部分。

举例和说理分别的优势?

大家现在可以重新观察一下范文三个主体段的展开手法。三个主体段一共444字。其中第一段259字，第二段116字，第三段69字。第一段的展开手法为例证(讲故事)，第二、三段均为解释。

大家明显感受到例证的优势即为能够更轻松的展开出有效并具体化的细节，或俗称“好凑字”。解释的好处为语言简练，表达效率高，文章的递进性、节奏会更紧凑。

举例和说理分别的劣势?

例证在TOEFL写作中并无太明显的劣势。解释的劣势就比较明显了。同样的一个分论点，有的同学用例证可以很轻松写到200字，而解释只能说到100字。有的同学可能有个刻板印象：讲故事的语言通常比较简单，句式单一，因此不容易得高分。注意，讲故事语言和句式也是可以复杂的;或者大家可以选择简单但地道的表达，可同样可以获得满分。

答题战略、以及举例和说理的优劣小结

因此我们以后考场上的答题战略很简单。第一段为例证段落。目的为使劲凑字，尽量直接写满200字。第二、三段可以选择简短的小故事或者解释性段落，分别写到60～100字左右。这样主体段已经达到至少320字，再加上开头结尾段，可以轻松满足350字的字数要求。

如何练好说理?

说理对语言和句式的要求要明显高于例证。因此一定要有扎实的基本功的支持才能够写出漂亮的说理段落。关于句式的练法，可以参考强化班上的句型基本构成以及句型转化练习。

如何练好例证?

例证的套路大家都很熟悉。很多同学的问题出在没思路上。比如，一道题目问说：我们的闲钱应该拿去旅游好，还是存到银行好?有同学说，存起来更好，因为可以未雨绸缪。这是一个很好的分论点，那么如何以例证的方式来展开呢?有同学说可以使用反证法：我有一个朋友Foosen，他就不存钱，后来他就死的很惨。用此例来强调存钱的必要性。大部分同学都能够想到这一步，问题会处在如何用故事来展开死的很惨，以及什么事情导致Foosen死的很惨。我们来看一篇范文：

To begin with, as a young man living in a big city, I need to start saving up from now on, because there are a lot of things in the future costing tons of money. Take my good friend Foosen for example. He is an optimistic guy who prefers to seize the day. He can spend all his salary within just two days either on luxuries or on trips. Before he was even 22, he already went around the whole Africa. Unfortunately, not everything goes according to plan. Last year during his trip to South Africa, he accidentally broke his leg and had to go through surgery. However, since he could not cover the expense, he had to call everybody to borrow money. It took so long for him to collect the money that the surgery was delayed. As a result, the recovery period for him was 2 months longer than everyone else’s. Now, this example might be a particular instance, and it is out of his expectation. Nonetheless, in today’ssociety, even the potential spending within our expectation is already quite worrying. For instance, in Beijing, if I wish to purchase a 30-squaremeter apartment, it would cost me over 3 million yuan; if I want to invite, say, 20 friends to my wedding, I would have to pay over 200,000 yuan; not to mention if I have a child and want to support his education, it would cost at least 50,000 yuan per year just for him to go to kindergarten. It aches mejust to look at these horrifying numbers. If I don’t save up for my future, there would be no future. (275 words)

故事描述了主人公Foosen，由于是乐天派并且坚持活在当下，进而展开月光、全世界各地旅游;到之后有一次意外摔断腿，需要做手术，但没有存钱，从而导致恢复期比普通人长了两个月。大部分的同学就是这些故事的“细节”想不到，或者没思路。如何解决?很简单，就是多看。因为讲故事并没有一个明显的模式或公式可以使用。

其实就是我们中学老师总说的那句话，“量的积累产生质的飞跃。”大家想练好例证，只需要找到优秀的讲故事型范文，仿写10篇左右，自然会掌握规律。